The Elephant Story
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.
Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Lincoln Park Zoo with his teenaged son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.
Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Instructions for Properly Hugging a Baby
Step 1. First, spot a baby
Step 2. Second, be sure that the object you spied is indeed a baby by using sniffing techniques. If you smell baby powder and the wonderful aroma of wet diapers, this is indeed a baby.
Step 3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the hugging process.
Step 4. The "paw slide" - simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.
Step 5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute the difficult and patented "hug, smile, and lean" so as to achieve the best photo quality.
Dogs, if this is properly done, it will secure you a warm, dry, climate-controlled environment for the rest of your life. Good luck to all of you!
Step 1. First, spot a baby
Step 2. Second, be sure that the object you spied is indeed a baby by using sniffing techniques. If you smell baby powder and the wonderful aroma of wet diapers, this is indeed a baby.
Step 3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the hugging process.
Step 4. The "paw slide" - simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.
Step 5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute the difficult and patented "hug, smile, and lean" so as to achieve the best photo quality.
Dogs, if this is properly done, it will secure you a warm, dry, climate-controlled environment for the rest of your life. Good luck to all of you!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Vanessa Dobos is a gunner on a USAF AC-130 gunship. She has seen action in Iraq and Afghanistan. She likes long walks on the beach, men who aren't afraid to cry, and puppies.
Her dislikes include feed tray stoppages, tracer flareout of her night vision goggles, and premature fixed-wing strikes scattering her high-value targets. Read more about her here.
Her dislikes include feed tray stoppages, tracer flareout of her night vision goggles, and premature fixed-wing strikes scattering her high-value targets. Read more about her here.
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